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An aware confident attitude will prevent
most attackers from selecting you as their victim.
Make sure your body language and attitude lets people know
that you know they are there without acting afraid or challenging
them. Move as if you are sure about where you are going. Sit
or stand as upright as you can. Instead of staring at someone
aggressively or looking away passively, glance briefly towards
the person and then continue on your way.
Take charge of the space around you so that a potential
attacker does not have the opportunity to get close to you.
If you are in an isolated place, move away from people who
seem like they might be a threat to you. The "I'm OK,
You're Ok" approach works most of the time. Just leave
cheerfully and get to a safe place. If someone is being rude,
or calling you to come over, you could act as if there is
no problem - smile, wave and say something neutral like, "Hi"
or "No thanks" or "Sorry, No".
If someone starts confronting you and you can't just leave,
take charge by setting a boundary. Put your hands up in front
of you like you are making a wall and get yourself into balance.
Tell the person politely and assertively what you want, "Stop
right there.... Turn around and leave.... I’m leaving now."
Be sure you use a calm firm loud voice and strong neutral
body language - without fists waving at someone’s face and
without shrinking away.
Know where safety is and how to get help.
Always have a plan for where you would go if you have a problem.
Be willing to make a scene and order bystanders to call the
police or come to your aid. Be willing to embarrass, inconvenience,
or offend other people in order to protect your well being.
Know how to set clear boundaries with people you know.
Most of the people who bother us are people we know. Know
how to tell people you care about what is and is not okay
with you even if it hurts their feeling or makes them upset.
Your safety and self-esteem are worth causing anyone inconvenience,
embarrassment, or offence. Problems should not be secrets,
so talk issues over with people you trust.
Identify and take the power out of your triggers.
Triggers are thoughts or words or feelings or other behavior
that cause us to explode with feelings. When we are exploding
with feelings, we cannot think clearly. Common triggers are
bad words and foul language, insults, scary words and threats,
or confusing words and feeling sorry for someone. Make sure
what you do is a decision based on what is really happening,
rather than an automatic reaction or a habit.
As a last resort, know how to forcefully defend yourself.
Most attacks are stopped by just one strong move, but be prepared
to keep fighting until you feel it is safe to leave and get
help. Strong moves can be: yelling at bystanders for help,
telling someone to STOP, hitting or kicking someone. Whatever
you do, sound, look, and act as if you MEAN IT. The basic
strategy is to use the parts of your body you can move as
weapons and the vulnerable parts of an attacker's body as
targets.
If you keep yelling as you are fighting, you will have more
power and other people will be more likely to notice. If you
are attacked from the front you can yell NO! and pull away,
strike to the eyes, heel palm hit to the face, knee strike
to groin, kick or slap to the groin. When someone attacks
from behind you can yell NO! and lower your center of gravity,
stomp on the attackers foot, slap to the groin, grab and squeeze
testicles, elbow strike to the solar plexus, head or groin.
The same strategies usually work even if the attacker has
a weapon, or you end up on the ground, or there are two or
more attackers. You are more important than your property
so we do NOT recommend that you fight over your stuff. Just
hand it over and say, "Take it. It's yours." Our
experts say that your risk of injury goes up if you fight
to keep a robber from taking your possessions. However, statistically
your risk of injury goes down if you fight to keep an attacker
from hurting you or taking you away to a more private place.
To Sum Up
Use your awareness to notice trouble and to avoid being chosen
as a victim. Leave if you can. Yell for help. Fight if you
have to. If you cannot get away right away, keep looking for
a new chance to get away. Instead of freezing, pretend to
give up so that the attacker will relax and then leave or
start resisting the instant you have an opening to do so.
Finally, get yourself to a safety place and get help. People
often feel scared and ashamed after being attacked, so ask
for support. Figure out what your best options are for reporting
the situation.
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